A fathers view on things

Well I thought Id go ahead and do some unescesarry sharing of my love life. well my love life isnt really much considering im 14 but i am okay with that :) haha I like a boy. He likes me. But that will stay unsaid for awhile, just the way it should be. Its obvious he likes me and Its obvious I like him so words just arent needed. But this boy talked to my dad today while I was at school. And here is what my dad had to say about it :) ( yes I did take this boys name out :D) haha


Lincoln Brewster sings a song, a worship song, named "You Are The One". The song gives honor to God for who he has been as Creator, as Lord and Leader of our life. "You are the one, you are holy, you are the one, you are worthy, you are the one, you are the one, everlasting, Lord you are the one" That is a simple part of the song, yet the most profound declaration of love we can express toward an Eternal and All Powerful God who has allowed us to come into his presence and to remain near him through the power of His own Love and Sacrifice.

This is The Father's Love at work and our cry back to him in thanks and recognition that He Alone is "The One".

You must know this about me, as your Dad, that is the my cry toward my God and is my number one desire for you. That you be a daughter of our King Jesus and that you be so captivated by HIM that you cry out with your words, heart and life, "You are the One". Everything, in my leadership over your life, has to make it past that filter. Everything!

My prayer is that you would have a heart set toward God all the days of your life and that nothing would take first place except your Father in Heaven, your creator and sacrificial lamb, through the deep and close abiding love of the Holy Spirit who walks and talks with you.

Now, on that note, let me explain that today I spent time with a young man named _____. As you know he is sweet on you and has asked to spend extra time getting to know you. He was polite and honorable in his approach. We discussed lots of things, but most importantly we discussed the way God works through relationships to teach us, lead us and eventually bring us together to represent His love for us in a wonderful relationship here on earth. It is too early to discuss who will become your spouse and best friend on the journey of life, but _____ was honorable in his approach to ask about spending time with you. We discussed boundaries and the process of NOT getting in too deep with words, emotions or touch. He seems like a good kid and a young man who is set on becoming a Man of God who is strong in the Lord.

I want you know that you have my blessing to spend more time getting to know him but that your heart is the one thing you have to protect. No man is worth your relationship with God and believe me, most men have no problem being in competition with God for a ladies heart. Most men want to compete and "win over" the ladies they are attracted to. So, you have to be very diligent to keep your love relationship with Christ front and center and only allow young men around when they can take the pressure of NOT being number one in your life. Most boys and men cannot handle that. Their ego, a God given ego, mind you, has not be trained to be humble and trusting. Rather, they want to make sure and re-enforce their dominance in your life regularly. Don't let that happen. Guard your heart, pursue God as if your very life depends on it, because it does. And along the way, if and when God puts a man in your life who you are called to share that pursuit of God with, you will look up, while running hard after God and see him beside you, running after God, in his own lane on the track, loving God, seeking God and wanting after nothing but God. Only then, will you know the earthly connection to that person as a pure and honest relationship. One that supports your purpose in God. Until then, don't take yourself too seriously when it comes to guys, enjoy their friendship, keep your heart, mind, body and spirit pure and consider the gift of your love to be the deepest treasure that is reserved for the one and only, while living a life of worship and never stop declaring to HIM, "You Are The One!!!"

I love you deeply and will never stop watching, guiding, praying and rejoicing over you. You are a wonderful young lady. Blessings on you forever!!!

Your Dad!!

I love you dad :)


no title justifys

I just got home from the Thorn. And obviously, the thorn being as incredible as it is.... has left me thinkning.
I was sitting there anticipating my favorite scences that move me the most. Heaven, Hell,Garden,Crucifiction, and Resurrection. Let me just say congrats to the martial artist! The garden scence was incredible and LITERALLY left me breathless. During the end of the scence when the disciples are waking up and Jesus is being arrested I leaned over to Zac and asked him " What if you were there? What would you have done?"..... And then I started thinkning about it. What would I have done? Knowing me I would have done nothing.... To scared to defend anyone and to scared to run. I imagine I would have just stood stunned. I mean here you are with your best friends on an already stressful night. Your savior tells you to pray and you dont, you sleep. Then all of a sudden you see Jesus arrest, tried, beaten, and killed all in about a couple hours. Your world has been rocked and slipped from underneath you. How would you know that hope still existed when it was burried in a tomb?It all happend so fast. Just *snap* like that. What would you do with the questions running through your mind.
The day that true loved died.


Today Is Sunday

10:30-12:30: Work in the nursery.
12:30-4: Hang out with my angel/ demon cast and my family
4-9: Practice :)
thank you :)


I want to be a better writer :)

I apologize in advanced for how choppy and High school girlish this blog may be :)

Im home alone right now. Today has been a long- longish day.
Wake Up- 60clock
Coffee Run With Jessie ( ending in me getting Zac coffee instead :D )- 6:45-7oclock
Crown Rehearsal- 7-2 oclock
:) Today has been fun. But now I am tired, alone, in need of shower because I have black paint all over me, and I am looking for something productive to do. Get my thoughts out? maybe.
My favorite way to relax lately has been to close the door in my bed room crack the blinds so that there is a stream of light in the room, turn up my Kari Jobe cd, open my journal and bible ( and whatever book i might be reading) and just lay there for hours and hours listening to the songs over and over. All of them speak to me so much. Im loving it.
I have just been so up and going lately that in those times God really speaks to me.
I think Im learning alot more about myself too. I have realized that I want alot of heart work inside of me happen before dating. Its hard, sometimes though. But I think I need to learn more,get more scripture in me, and let the brothers around me do the same before God can start pointing out possible candidates. I fasted conversational texting this past week (ended yesterday) and I think that it grounded me a little bit.
I need that everyonce in awhile. Thats how I am. I like to live like full force.
My mom says the word is INTENSE.
I hate that word but sure I guess thats what it is. I like new things.
I like freefalling.
I like adventure, but sometimes I need to chill out :) haha
You know what else Im also learning?
That Im not alone. That there are actual girls my age living the same way I am, living through things I am, and learning just like I am. Thats kewl. And sometimes it gets me in line and shows me where I stand, and how much growing in certain areas I really need before moving on. :)
I need to change things up a bit. In the summer time im cutting my hair ( not short just different) and getting ( unpermanate) teal high lights. SEE WHAT I MEAN? Im always looking for excitment. Change is good sometimes and then other time I hate it. Im in need of excitment right now. Or more so I think I am in a good place to go on an adventure. Like almost as if God has prepared me and set me up for one.

I dont know :) haha Im confusing myself.
Sorry about the High schoolishness :)


Pet Peeve

MY NEW PET PEEVE: When women disrespect men. Im sorry I know all about ( and if you really know me you know that i know FAR TO WELL) about all the abuse and disrespect inflicted onto naive women, and I have a huge HUGE heart for those women ( once again if you really know me you know this to be true.) BUT PEOPLE.... COME ON. ( well i should say WOMEN COME ON) Just respect men. and repect people as humans. This is NOT something that I have mastered. and 50% of the time i am not this way. But can we just talk to other people nicely? I see it everywhere! School, Crown, Home ( yes we are family :D it happens), with my friends everywhere! People just arent nice to each other anymore. But ok. Girls you know that more than anything.... we just want to feel loved. EY? am I right or am I right? Well men just wanna be respected. And its a hard thing to learn to most people now a days. But instead of being mean 50% of the time I would like it to be about 5% of the time ( leaving leverage for when I really need to punch someone in the face :D) Tonight was a good night overall. Love ya


Mysterious Grace and Lots of Reading.

Im not good at realtionships. Especially relationships with boys.... Ask my parents.... THEY KNOW. I have messed up a few times. I dont like messing up and I have had a constant fear of failing in the front of my mind for what seems like forever.My first born side coming out again I guess.but recentely God has been taking away that fear piece by piece. He has been showing me that his grace is new everyday and that I dont have to sin, but I can live and walk in his grace and peace knowing that I am forgiven. He has been showing me A BUTT LOAD about realationships too. 9 months ago I got out of my first real realtionship. I had went behind my parents back on several occasions and I look back now asking myself if I knew what love was and if I knew what I was giving away. I was asking myself last night why I had so little consideration for my future husband. For those of you who really know me you can say ( I hope) that I am not boy crazy. But I am still a girl and I had my 7 months of fun that ended 9 months ago. The relationship ended right before I started High school. hah God has a very mysterious, stuble way sometimes of shining his grace on us. but not this time... nope this time it was a DING DING DING FLASHING LIGHTS kind of a deal where Gods grace was overflowing in my life and I missed it. I had always vowed to myself, God, and my parents ( never thinking of my future husband) that I was not going to date in High school. And then God ended my unhealthy relationship before high school. Do you see my point or am I making no sense at all?!?!?!. To me it just seems amazing. Even though I disobeyed my parents, and even though i didnt end the realtionship when I was told God still gave me the chance to do what I had promised I would do. MYSTERIOUS GRACE. Why did he do that? I have been thinking about this all day and wow.... I guess me must love me. I mean thats all I can really come up with right now. :) but now Crown has started and God has given me the chance to have a relationship the right way. I like a boy. yes. I have a quick emotional rebound, thank you im 14. but in all seriousness that fear of failure is hurting my heart and it terrifys me. I was reading a blog from a friend and she is pretty much going threw the same thing as me but she is much much farther down the road. I was reading her blog wondering if she was stalking me or something. I dont know but anyways shes 15 and is in a realtionship with a 17 year old. Her parents and sisters, and his parents are very much involved in their relationship. I like that. Thats how it should be. I will never EVER go into another romantic relationship without the team help, advice, and accountability of my parents. God has told them and will tell them what my boundaries need to me, they will tell me, and i WILL obey them. ( The fear of God.... what a powerful thing) Im reading a book called " When God Writes Your Love Story" and it starked a thought in my mind. Meanwhile my dads talking to someone and is telling him how amazing his eldest daughter is and all that jazz, when I send him a text saying " Hey dad, If I was having a unpure realtionship with God, would he tell you? terrifying him. All I got back in response was " You need to call me." With that all worked out I still cant get away from this book, or my bible, or my journal. God is just overflowing me with all these words on relationships. Its starting ot overload my hardrive. Today I had to leave school because I got a concussion this weekend and I didnt have a note to give to my school saying i was allowed to come back. ONCE AGAIN. the MYSTERIOUS GRACE, is upon me. Me and my best friend havent had a good conversation about life in an eternity and today we just talked and talked and talked ( shes home sick which obviously.... made it ok that we were talking). AAHHH GRACE :) Lets juts rest in it! anyways! SO Ya Gods been showing me how important it is to have a team of accountabily, support,and advice around you when you step into a romantic relationship, or any relationshp for that matter. My ideal team consist thus far... My parents, My best friend, and my mentor and her husband. i dont want to do this alone again. NOW! I am not saying all of this had comprimised my thoughts and that now i am dating. nope. this boy i like? has never heard that come from my mouth. but i am saying that I want to approach ALL realtionships differentely now. I have also been reading and have been thinking about How do you know that God wants me to be in this realtionship? Well I think that if my relationship with a person had pushed me closer to God and not hindered my most important relasionship with him that it is a realtionship from God. Did that make sense? what I mean is..... if ur relationship with a person isnt hurting the most important one... then ur good. But you still need that team of support around you. God has also been straining on my heart the importance of Guarding your heart and your mind. " And the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
Keep god at the center of EVERYTHING. And never try to squeeze God around your life but fit your life around God. Ask God to guard your heart and emotions, your mind and and thoughts. and your eyes because your eyes feed your soul. In a realtionship this is important. Because your heart and mind should be concecrated and set apart for Christ and not of this other person. Gods timing is also very important. Everything happends for a reason.... and Everything happends in Gods timing.
I dont know if any of this made sense but those are my thoughts :)
Living In His Mysterious Grace.