Lets be real.

Have you ever felt like you were totally on top of the world?

lets call it your happy place.
Where you feel the most free, the most confident, the most......
happy. The place where you dream your craziest dream. Does anybody else wish that life came with that little soudtrack thats always playing in the background? I do... All the time.

I dont really know what to write about I just know that I have about 100 drafts saved on this thing from blogs Ive started and then quickley lost inspiration and gave up. So Im just gonna be real. The intro up there at the top.... really are my real thoughts that I just dont know how to write it. Its just in my head. Kinda like a dream! you know when you have a crazy dream and you try to explain it someone but you just cant, because in the dream it totally made sense but.... when you try explaining it you realize how confusing and "made up" it sounds. Thats how my life seems right now. Hard to explain, hard to figure out when Im talking about it... or..... blogging about it. But God, crazy enough, is moving in all of this. Hes humbleing me and teaching me to trust in him and not to lean on my own understanding. He is helping me to get over who I think I am and he is showing me who I am really am..... but then he reminds me.

" I love you anyways."

Through this whole 40 day fast I havent really had that hard of a time, aside from the normal temptations. But I have had a hard time sleeping. Three nights ago I had a "episode" or something and basically I panicked in my sleep and I couldnt wake up. My moms been giving me sleeping pills so I can fall asleep. But last night I just heard God calm my heart over and over again. Im learning that the place of God can just wash away all fear, all anxiety and give complete, supernatural, internal rest...... and it restores all joy.
He Is My Peace.